‘The presents were numerous and costly’

Or, Who Gave What to Whom?

In the late 19th and early 20th centuries, marriage notices in local newspapers would sometimes include a list of the wedding presents received by the happy couple, along with the names of the gift-givers. These lists were often prefaced by the generic “The presents were numerous and costly,” with variations such as (to cite a few of my favourites):

• “The presents were numerous and costly, and displayed excellent taste on the part of the givers”¹
• “The presents were numerous and costly, and were greatly admired by the assembled guests”²
• “The presents were both numerous and costly, and testified to the high esteem in which the contracting parties are held”³

If you’re lucky enough to find a published gift list for an ancestor’s wedding, you will almost certainly discover something interesting. ‘Who gave what to whom?’ provides valuable information about friendships and familial relations, along with intriguing clues about the material fortunes and social aspirations of both the donors and the recipients of the wedding presents.

The presents were numerous and costly, and displayed excellent taste on the part of the givers

grand forks herald, nov 16, 1885

1. Who gave what to Joseph Murray and Gertrude Cherrier?

Note: While this couple is not found in the OVI database, some of their wedding guests (and gift-givers) are.

To the left is a lengthy account of the wedding of Joseph Murray and Gertrude Cherrier. The couple were married at Larimore, North Dakota on December 26, 1901, then took the train to Grand Forks to enjoy a wedding reception at the Woodman Hall in East Grand Forks.

This notice does not use the generic “The present were numerous and costly.” Instead, it goes one further by openly commending the public display of the gifts:

The presents received last evening gave the room in which they were all placed the appearance of a department store, the silverware, cut glass and furniture departments being especially well-stocked, as was also the china department⁴

When I first read this gift list, I was a little bit surprised by the fancy, department-store quality of the presents. Was I was expecting more of a pioneer homesteader vibe, with butter crocks and homemade quilts? Well, maybe not quite that. This was 1901, not 1881, after all, and this was a city, or at least a town, reception. But there really is a lot of silver and cut glass in this list, along with some highly specialized (and surely somewhat impractical?) serving pieces: a silver fruit dish from Willie and Minnie McCoy; a celery dish and an olive dish from Mr. and Mrs. Thos. Myers; half a dozen sauce dishes and one fruit dish from Maggie and Ed Enright. Were gift-givers influenced by newspaper advertisements for the latest in “elegant” and “fashionable” wedding gifts?

That said, there were some practical gifts, including bed spreads, window curtains, and parlor lamps. And this couple also received some practical (and probably also quite beautiful) pieces of furniture:

• Thomas Murray gave an oak dining table
• The East Grand Forks Fire Department gave one reed rocker, one mahogany rocker, and one mahogany parlor chair
• Mr. and Mrs. Maurice Sullivan gave a leather rocking chair
• A group of some 20 men, who were presumably Joseph Murray’s workmates and friends, gave a “handsome” leather couch and divan

I recognize a couple of Morans on the list of gift-givers:

• Mr. and Mrs. M.J. Enright (Michael J. Enright and Julia Amanda Moran) gave a silver teapot
• Mrs. Lavallee (Mary Ernestine “Tina” Moran) and her daughter Lila Lavallee gave a water pitcher with a half dozen glasses

But while there are several Sullivans on the list, including Mrs. C.L. Cummings (Anne Sullivan, wife of Cornelius Cummings), there is no mention of Mr. and Mrs. M.J. Sullivan (Michael J. Sullivan and his wife Nellie Moran). Does this mean they did not attend the wedding reception and/or did not send a gift? Possibly. But note that this lengthy list is merely a “partial list of the gifts and the donors” [emphasis mine]. Imagine sending a gift that did not make the cut, that was not published in the newspaper’s gift list?! I can imagine some hurt feelings…

2. Who gave what to Thomas Houlihan and Catherine “Kate” Killeen?

Mr. Thos. Burke gave a silver pickle cruet. And Miss Tessie Houlihan also gave a silver pickle cruet. In the days before online wedding registries, I guess you were bound to get some doubles, and even some triples.

What’s a pickle cruet?

I had to google this one. I was picturing some sort of shallow, round or oval silver pickle dish, of the type that my parents received as a wedding gift in the 1960s. But what I was picturing wasn’t at all accurate, not at all.

A pickle cruet was made of glass and silver, with a glass container resting in a silver stand. The glass containers came in various shape and sizes, and the glass might be coloured, as in the beautiful example to the right. The silver stands were fashioned in different styles, and might be quite elaborate and ornate, though plainer versions were also available. Apparently pickle cruets were a very popular wedding gift “from about 1870 to the First World War.” And while a fancy cruet might cost $5, more “utilitarian types” might sell for one dollar.⁵

And by the way, if you come across a pickle cruet in your grandmother’s attic, please don’t throw it away: it might be worth something. According to antiques and fine art appraiser John D. Sewell, the pickle cruet pictured at the right is “well worth $400 today.”

The Numerous Presents to the Young Couple

On September 12, 1905 the Ottawa Free Press published a wedding notice for Mr. Thomas M. Houlihan and Miss Kate Killeen, including a detailed gift list. A shorter notice was published in the Ottawa Citizen, copied from the above, but with the omission of the gift list.⁶

I recognize many of the names on this list, as they were related to the bride through her Killeen father. The two gift-givers who were explicitly named as “aunt[s] of the bride” were Mrs. P. Cavanagh (Bridget Killeen) of Maniwaki and Mrs. J. Lahey (Margaret Jane Killeen) of South March, both sisters of Catherine’s father Thomas Benjamin Killeen. But there are also a number of Killeen cousins on this list whose relationship to the bride is not noted.

Catherine’s aunt Margaret Jane (Killeen) Lahey gave a “fancy quilt,” but this I would consider a practical gift, and it may well have been homemade. And Catherine’s aunt Bridget (Killeen) Cavanaugh combined fancy lace with practicality with her gift of a pair of pillow shams and a pair of curtains.⁷ But as in the first example, there are a lot of fancy and impractical gifts here, including a chocolate pot from Miss Maye O’Neill and a berry set from Mr. Thos. Lahey (Thomas Alexander Lahey, first cousin of the bride).

In several cases, a married couple each gave a separate gift:

• Mr. John Kelly (a first cousin once removed of the bride) gave a cheese dish,⁸ while Mrs. John Kelly (Johanna Margaret Quilty) gave a set of toilet mats
• Mrs. Thomas Burke (Mary Ann Lahey, first cousin of the bride) gave a pair of down pillows, while Mr. Thos. Burke gave one of the two silver pickle cruets
• Mrs. G.P. O’Neill gave a salad bowl, while Mr. G.P. O’Neill gave a writing stand

Some of the gifts came from out-of-towners, who may have attended the wedding, or who, more likely, may have sent their gifts through the mail:

• Miss H.M. Kelly (Maria Hannah Kelly, a first cousin once removed of the bride) of Boston gave a tablecloth and a dozen table napkins of Irish linen⁹
• Mrs. Patrick Casey (Elizabeth Emma Killeen, a first cousin of the bride) of Minnesota gave a dozen silver teaspoons
• Mrs. P. Cavanagh (Bridget Killeen) of Maniwaki, “aunt of the bride,” gave a pair of Battenburg pillow shams and a pair of lace curtains

In addition to her Killeen relations, there are also some McBrides and Kealeys on this list, who would have been connected to the bride through her mother Mary Ann McBride, daughter of Hugh McBride and Mary Ann Kealey. And then there are some names that I don’t recognize at all. I assume they were connected to the bridegroom, Thomas Martin Houlihan, about whose family I know very little.

When I first read the above wedding notice and gift list, I had no idea who was Miss H.M. Kelly of Boston, and I wondered if she might be a relation of Thomas M. Houlihan? Then I came across a brief item in the Ottawa Citizen (June 11, 1904), which strongly suggested a Killeen connection. If Miss Hannah Kelly was spending two months’ holidays with Mr. and Mrs. T.B. [Thomas Benjamin] Killeen, surely there must have been a familial relationship? There was. Baptized Maria Hannah Kelly, and sometimes known as Hannah Mary Kelly, Miss H.M. Kelly/Miss Hannah Kelly was the daughter of Michael Kelly and Margaret Donahue, the niece of Patrick Donahue, and the great-niece of Thomas Benjamin Killeen.

Miss Hannah Kelly, trained nurse, of Haverhill, Boston, is spending two months’ holidays with Mr. and Mrs. T.B. Killeen, of Westboro

ottawa citizen, june 11, 1904

Pay attention to the details of wedding notices, which may provide valuable genealogical information or clues. And even when they do not include a list of the gifts and their donors, early 20th-century wedding notices often supply interesting details on everything from bridal attendants to wedding finery to out-of-town guests. Moreover, once you get into the 20th century, you may also find engagement announcements, and notices of bridal showers and teas. See, for example, the above notice of a parcel shower for Miss Lilla Lavelle [Lila Mary Lavallee], who married Edwin Walter Cheska on September 19, 1905. While this shower was held at the residence of her uncle and aunt Mr. and Mrs. M.J. Sullivan (Michael Joseph Sullivan and Helen Elizabeth Moran), we can safely assume that the shower was hosted by her aunt Nellie (Moran) Sullivan, and not by her uncle Mike Sullivan. Indeed, early 20th-century wedding (and wedding-related) notices may be that rare example of a source which provides more information about female than about male ancestors.

NOTES

1. “Wedding Bells,” Grand Forks Herald, 16 November 1885, p. 3. Marriage notice for Mr. E.V. Hauser and Miss Nellie Mason. ↩︎
2. “Hymen’s Chains,” Ottawa Daily Citizen, 24 September 1886, p. 3. Marriage notice for Mr. R.J. Johnston of Huntley and Miss Isabella Nesbitt. ↩︎
3. “Cairncross-Smith Nuptials,” Grand Forks Herald, 6 September 1900, p. 1. Marriage notice for Miss Amelia B. Cairncross and Elmo A. Smith. ↩︎
4. “Holiday Weddings,” Grand Forks Herald, 27 December 1901, p. 6. ↩︎
5. Patricia McGuire, “Cruets Show Master Craftsmanship,” Ottawa Journal, 7 June 1966, p. 22. ↩︎
6. “Pretty Autumn Weddings,” the Ottawa Citizen, 13 September 1905, p. 9. ↩︎
7. Since her sons were general merchants at Maniwaki, these gifts presumably came from the stock of the Cavanaugh Bros. of Maniwaki. ↩︎
8. Miss Ethel Barnes (Mary Ethel Barnes, first cousin once removed of the bride) also gave a cheese dish. ↩︎
9. Mrs. James Whelan (Mary Ann Killeen, a first cousin of the bride) also gave 1-2 dozen table napkins. ↩︎